Friday, December 30, 2005

Sweet Revenge Of The Housewife Muffs

I usually am not affected by most people's opinions, whether its about me or on other issues in general. However, after reading the entry by Otto, a comparison / observation note between the pornstar and the housewife muffs, a warning alarm rang instantaneously and I could not help but to dash into the bathroom, dig out my waxing gel and do the painful ritual of mowing the lawn.

After an hour of agony, I step out of the bathroom all sweaty and sore but feeling super sexy like never before (as though I have just won the crown for Miss Planet Mars and am now standing in front of millions of audiences who are watching me and admiring me). In the midst of daydreaming I feel a blotch of wetness in between my thighs and out of desperation, I reached out for the....

Please pardon me for I digress.

After reading the post by Otto and having the first-hand experience of being almost guilty of turning from a pornstar to a housewife muff myself, I have to say that Otto has not dutifully given enough credits to the housewife muffs.

No doubt, quoting Otto, housewife muff is stereotypically a she who "does not take care of her physical self, fails to dress appropriately, is guilty of losing her initial pornstar self and becomes a housewife muff when she is involved in a relationship", she is not necessarily a someone who "fails to understand her body". In fact, in my first-hand yet humble opinion, a housewife muff is a she who best understands her physical urges and is able to satisfy those hunger at any given time and situation, with the most economical, convenient and practical manner, with or without her man.

To think about it this way, who else, but a housewife muff, has the full knowledge of where all the candles and ropes are kept in exactly which drawers in the kitchen?

Who else, but a housewife muff, knows exactly when the whipped cream is expiring and will use it before it goes bad?

Who else, but a housewife muff, knows the differences between the shapes & sizes of a cucumber and a carrot, and the various results / effects that will derive from using them?

Who else, but a housewife muff, knows which part of the tiger to cook with which combination of herbs to feed it to her man so that he can regain his energy and stay at peak all the time?

Yes indeed, a housewife muff does spend a lot of time "cleaning the house in slippers, shorts and T-shirts", but that does not mean she has become a less "fun and interesting person", "unlikely to have any relationship with anyone other than her man, is often insecure and desperate", and cultivates a hobby in "nagging and complaining", because believe it or not, more than often she is getting very creative and experimental with her household tools.

What I am trying to point out here is that, yes indeed a pornstar is definitely and will always be the dream of all men. However, it is not difficult for a housewife muff to transform herself and learn the tricks of a pornstar, but for a pornstar to go through the whole ordeal of being a housewife muff and learn her tricks....??

Feel free to ponder or rebuke on what I have just said, but please excuse my absence as this pornstar-almost-turning-housewife-muff self is going to grab that stick of insect repellent and the bottle of minyak angin to have some quiet yet exhilarating fun in the storeroom now.


Blogger Lord Vendetta said...

hmm..surely most men (me included) would like to have pornstar gf/wife, but hey, if a housewife muff can transform into pornstar gf/wife dat well, Id say "come to papa!"..

the word "pornstar" is such a turn on!

11:51 PM, December 30, 2005  
Blogger Ghost Hack said...

Housewife anytime man.

God knows what is up their apron.

8:44 AM, December 31, 2005  
Blogger Otto said...

Read Lady Venom's entry with interest. There are several things that need clarification... will do so as soon as I bring my car to the workshop for a New Year paintjob.....

Till then, feel free to read for a taste of what is to come.

9:43 AM, December 31, 2005  

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